Mascot Roadkill Mark 2

A Lesson in Rodent Biology

He astounds me.

I am feeling a bit lonely at the moment, hence blogging diahorrea, I suppose. *headdesks*

Getting CSI On Yo' Asses

Would you believe it, I have spent quite a chunk of the day dealing with the police, who appear to be taking the car break-in quite seriously. I have to admit, I didn't think they'd do much other than log that it happened, but noo. I have had people phoning all day, and a crime scene officer round to get fingerprint off things.

And yes, it was quite exciting. XD She was dusting things off and putting them in bags to be sent to The Lab. Hopefully the little gits have previous so they can get their just desserts. I think that's fair dos for their having taken up our weekend with bother, somehow. :p

An Almighty Blog

It really is about time I did an almighty blog. And since I am sitting here watching the Discovery Channel and procrastinating over the modelling I have to do, I think it's time for a catch up. Well not a catch up, because I would never blog all the things I've been meaning to, but you know what I mean.

1. People in this town are thieving scrotes.

Well not all of them, but particularly the mangey little turds who broke in to our car, stole a load of stuff and then tried to jimmy open the front door last night. We've spent the entire morning phoning insurance, credit card and repair people sorting out the arsebags' five minutes of fun. If they so much as think about coming back here I will actually castrate them with a rusty spork.

2. Telesales is boring, but actual sales are fun.

I got my first sale at work! It was only a little one, but it should net me a tidy sum. I'll be able to buy the bottom on my wedding dress with it, let's put it that way. In general work is, as you might imagine, not exactly thrilling, but the people I work with are for the most part good company. And I've now been given the great honour of being accepted into the Crossword Club, that is, the people who get given a photocopy of the Times crossword to play with in the morning. ^__^ Pleasantly, this does include the boss, so he doesn't mind when we wander away from our desks to consult with other people for clues.

3. Crufts was SO. FREAKING. AWESOME.

Now there's a surprise. I enjoyed my day of wandering about looking at nogs, petting nogs and cooing at nogglets. I met an Irish Wolfhound for the first time and now would dearly love to own one. They are absolutely HUGE. They also have the most adorable expression of perpetual confuzzlement in their face. I am also now enamoured with Penkingeses because they look little Chinese dragon faces stuck on a giant ball of fur.

4. I have so many things I want to review.

Well, none of them are going to get the time I wish them to because I've been lazy with blogging, but never mind.

a) Kafka on the Shore
I'm going to wave a vague apology around this review, because I freely admit I am an utterly biased Haruki Murakami fangirl. I love love love love love his writing. He writes surreal contemporary magic stories that never have a proper ending, and I think this grates on the majority of people who don't get on with his books. Needless to say I really like the open-endedness of his stories, and it doesn't bother me in the slightest that the main agent of much of the bizarreness is never revealed.

If, however, such things do bother you, don't waste 600 pages' worth of your time reading Kafka on the Shore. If they don't, please, for the love of talking kitties and strangely effeminate men, read Kafka on the Shore. It's easily one of the best Murakami books I have read in aaages. The plot summary is a bit difficult to give, because to my mind it's a book more focused on the characters than the storyline. It has one, obviously, but I don't think I'd be able to do justice to a summary without first giving background on the people and themes.

It's about the usual highfalutin things: destiny, sexuality, the concept of self et al. It's essentially Oedipus Rex goes to Shikoku. I found it absolutely addictive, but I think I'd only recommend it with a few caveats. It's not a first Murakami novel to read, because if you don't like his style you won't get through it (or you will and you'll resent it!). Also, it's surprisingly unpleasant in some places. There was at least one passage that made my stomach churn, so be warned.

But it's easily the equal of The Wind-Up Bird Chronicles, and that's the one Murakami book people seem to really have spasms of praise over, so maybe you should read it. *nudge, wink etc*

b) Dirge of Cerberus
Hum. If only I could lavish so much praise upon Dirge of Cerberus as my fangirl heart would wish to. I could lie and fill this review with "OMIGOSH VINCENT!! ILU!! DIRGE OF CERBERUS OWNZ" but that would be such a lie. It was nice to have a Vincent game, because he didn't get enough time in FFVII, and it was great to see them put the Advent Children shiny graphics to a bit more use, but the fact of the matter is, Dirge of Cerberus just wasn't that great. I say this using the Squenix-relative definition of "wasn't that great". Technically it is a fine game. The cutscenes are top notch, natch, and being able to run about in detailed versions of places from FFVII was practically enough reason for this game to exist on its own. But the overall effect of the game is just a bit drab and uncompelling. The gameplay is nothing to write home about, and restricted ammo and items really got irritating after a while.

There are some great points to the game. The storyline is ridiculous, but you could put up with it just to see Vincent looking cool. Because he does. In general the voice acting is good, if a bit too taken with the idea of assigning regional accents to characters (I'm looking at you Cid and Cait Sith). Vincent, however, sounds far too Kiefer Sutherland for his character. He's meant to be a miserable git, but not a miserable git on forty a day. @_@

The bit where you get to run around listening to Gackt rocks, though. I love Redemption.

c) The Ladies of Grace Adieu
Can I just say, what a brilliant idea! I applaud Susanna Clarke so much for writing The Ladies of Grace Adieu. Merrily slogging through Johnathon Strange is a bit of a task, it has to be said, but an enjoyable one. The only problem is, you get the feeling by the end that there were so many other things that could have been said about English Magic. And so there was TLoGA. ^___^ It does just feel like a wonderful addition to the Johnathon Strange story. The highlight for me is undoubtedly the John Uskglass story, because he just did not get enough page time in the original book. It's not a story, or indeed a book, that stands well apart from Johnathon Strange; it feels as if it's a gift to everyone who loved the original story. Here you go, have that Cumbrian Charcoal Burner story I kept teasing you with! ^___^

On a side note, have some John Uskglass wallpaper. Everyone needs more Raven King on their desktop.

d) Pride of Baghdad
I suspect this might be the most obscure item on my list for this entry. I stumbled across a review of it online and was drawn in by the idea of Vertigo-quality political comic with lions. It's the story of the lions who escaped from Baghdad zoo during the American invasion/Operation Iraqi Freedom/however you wish to refer to it. I don't fall on one side or another when it comes to opinion about the Iraq War, but that's not something for discussion here. It's fairly apparent that the writers of the comic are anti-war, but they present their opinions in a refreshing approachable way.

This is aided hugely by the fact that the protagonists are big furry lions. The pride are in no way politically neutral, but their politics is inter-species rather than Coalition/Iraqi. People from both sides are seen in positive and negative ways. The Americans rumble up in their all-crushing tanks, the Iraqi leaders abuse their "pet" animals. What is highlighted is the suffering of all involved, regardless of how many legs they have.

The artwork in Pride of Baghdad is stunning, and it absolutely warms my heart to see a major publisher picking up a serious talking animals story. I'm purposely avoiding calling it furry because it's not strictly anthropomorphic, and I doubt the writers intended it to be so. They're quadrupeds rather than anthros, but the lions are given human personalities. I'm not entirely sure I agree with the extent to which this is done in the comic, but it does make for a more interesting story.

It is brutally violent, to own the truth, but that's to be expected, and if you can get over the "talking animals" element, I utterly recommend it.

e) Prison Break Season 2
Ngeehee. For the sake of Lizzu, this one is going to be short. Oh heavens above, Prison Break season 2 started off so badly, then suddenly got REALLY, REALLY COOL! ^_____^ Michael Scofield = <3.

And if you got this far, I think you deserve a treat. I have been having too much fun with this. Go and make your own Pokemon Trainer card!

I'm such a loser. @_@

I taste like....

I tashte like Alcohol. Heh. Heh. I taste like beer. I like beer. Buy me a beer. I'm not drunk, I can drink plenty without... What was I saying? Beer. What Flavour Are You?

I substitute beer for gin. If I'm going to taste like alcohol, I'm ruddy well going to taste like GIN.

Oh Sweet Heavens on a Bicycle

I'M GOING TO CRUFTS TODAY!! IT'S GOING TO BE SO FULL OF THE DICEST NOGS I MAY COLLAPSE OF GLEE!!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGS!!!!!!!

*runs around the room in happy nog circles*

^_______________^

LIVID

You know I actually do not give two hoots about how much money Sky is charging Virgin for its channels. I couldn't care less about which corporate executive hates which other and how vindictive they're being. I JUST WANT 24 BACK.

Sincerely,

K.G., spitting teeth.