...how I feel about the Van Helsing movie. Oh yes I hate it, I hate it so very much. It made me actually physically and audibly wince in pain. I hate it so much it nearly made me fall off my seat laughing. Just when you thought they couldn't make it any worse, the script-writing monkeys pulled out another gem!
I just don't know where to start, it's incredible. I could pick my way through the huge and gaping continuity errors with standard vampire mythology, I could elucidate a few million of the things that entirely shaft the Dracula continuity in this film, I could wax lyrical about the completely nonsensical plot they gave the film itself, but noooo, you must go and see these things for yourself. Believe me, it's worth it for the comedy value of this film. Take my words of advice, please.
Although if you do go and see it, you shalln't have the utterly incredible audience that we had, who have entirely restored my faith in humanity. I applaud the man who burped at the emotional scene between Kate Beckinsale's character and her brother. At this point the entire audience just exploded into laughter - never has a bodily function so well encompassed the opinion of a group of people. Quite the same reaction that the romantic climax to the film got. It really, really was the point when you thought they couldn't possibly make this film any more appaling. Everyone just burst out laughing. ^_____^
Man, I have no words for this film. I want the dvd, I really do.
I just have to continue the vitriol, I can't help it... Now, I think everyone knew I was going to hate this film, but really, how could it have been this?! It's a well known fact that I find vampires fascinating. Well, no, I ought to clear this up somewhat. It's more the vampire hunters, actually. It's like Alucard, he's cool because he's a vampire hunter. D, also cool because he's a vampire hunter. Characters I like in Dracula, vampire hunters. Van Helsing from the Van Helsing movie, however? Single most uncharismatic example of a genre of character I utterly love, except possibly Kate Beckinsale. *head on desk* How? Why??
I must go and sleep, I have to do Coptic examming tomorrow. o_0
In conclusion, go and see Van Helsing, it's the comedy hit of the year.
Posted by Katyjag at May 10, 2004 1:22 AM